‘citing stuff writing an introduction, you don’t know me I don’t know you
I got to write a load of rubbish but it all one way really ain’t it? No feedback from the people I just barter on with no regard for quality. No good except those comments there but I don’t read those, forget those, as my meandering co-host laserfrog or “admin” has mentioned my top secret alias is slifin, that’s so I don’t get shot for having crazy socialist ideals by crazy church goers an that or I could take it upon myself to post my genitals one day, just some thing I might do to feel alive
So keep updated an that just in case I do disregard my diginity for fifteen minutes of fame, in the mean time I’ll be fillin’ in with random thoughts lists and various other sex related posts to keep you all interested an that to the ultimate end of being co-leader of internets
Five: The sims: domestic abuse edition
Being a sadistic bastard I do enjoy the dismay of little virtual people so when I first played The Sims all those years
ago I set about trying to make my people fuck and kill each other; in the end I couldn’t perform either there was no
“murder” option or “rape” and apparently sexual intercourse requires a relationship of sorts these are all new ideas for me so suffice to say I wasn’t impressed
Not whining about hunger now are you bitch, now you’re being raped.
This is where The Sims Domestic Abuse Edition would come in to clear up all the short comings of the original, Got an urge to rape your mum? Be my guest, want to bludgeon that bastard neighbour to death? Go ahead these social morals were only keepin’ you back anyhow.
Four: Fifa real edition
This game would come packaged in a large box you’d get home after spending £39.99 on it power up your
favourite gaming console oh this game is going to be so good you say to yourself as you rub your hands together
“oh boy oh boy” open it up to play your game to discover a real life football and a real true to life whistler check those graphics out, fucking badass (this could apply to any sports game)
Three: Command and Conquer red alert: World domination
The promise is simple the entire world is mapped into the original red alert engine
play online or offline you are given a MCV and a quiet piece of the world to build your empire from
include some money transfer/alliance/Voice over IP GUI and you are set for a masterpiece
“soon we will stand invincible”
Two: 28 Thefts Later
Blending tits strippers drugs guns with survival horror throw in a barricade system a persistent online environment and you’ve got yourself a winner; think about it par dinosaurs this game could not get anymore awesome if it did the gravity of the awesome would tear the universe ascender, myself I am a fan of the universe so let’s not tear it ascender.
Seein’ this gta 4 modders? seein’ this? Take note bitches
One: Pokemon the uncut adventures
There were a lot of things in pokemon that never made sense why didn’t the pokemon die in battle how did
ash survive being set on fire by an angry charizard, why were team rocket such losers and why didn’t they catch their own pokemon, why didn’t misty take her kit off, did pokemon murder and rape people? What was it like in those pokeballs, questions that would be answered in the uncut adventures, taking a gritty in your face look at the world of pokemon and exciting world of the pokemon sex trade.
Does misty masturbate with ceiling bulbasaur around? Questions Pokemon The Uncut Adventures would answer.
Now as you may well know it takes alot to run a blogging news site that is updated biannually so I’ve got a trusty fellow to help in my endeavour to become the greatest man in the world. That person is renowned Sci-Fi author Quentin Malinowski also known as Slifin. So everyone be nice and give a round of applause.
Twitter and I have had a turbulant relationship, when our eyes first met I shrugged it away as another Internet facade. But more and more people kept on talking about it and soon I had started twittering, you see it’s like a bug. You start tweeting and soon BOOM you can’t stop, much like what those pringles adverts say. For instance I was about to tweet “Doing the Management Summery document. Hand cramp, and the meat sweats.” but to my horror Twhirl spits out this horrid message:
“What am I to do?” I asked myself in a haze of tears, I decided I’d do the only good thing and blog about it.
It was scary, so scary I could have almost deficated my underwear in fear. I couldn’t connect to the internet, after hours of weaping on the floor balling my eyes out I decided to do something about it. Spouting my “Get me the President!” line didn’t really work this time so I decided to use more unconventual methods of getting the Internets to work. It turned out the DNS servers from the Incredible Service Provider tm were down. Using the magic of having a set of other DNS servers to use soon sorted out the problem.
This got me thinking THE INTERNET IS GREAT.
Monkey Shoes Are fun
Fly through the window of life
Only to find Cheese
———————
To chase is to love
To Masturbate is a Crime
Against your Lover
———————
That is all
I havn’t been able to sleep properly for the last 3 days, I have had a few limited hours of sleep. The longest amount of sleep I’ve had was about 2-3 hours. In that time I had some pretty strange dreams, for instance the only dream I can sort of remember was where I was destroying evil people who came out of paintings. They were sort of like zombies in a way, the weird thing was I was trapping them back into the paintings by squirting vinegar at them.
Another dream I vaguely remember having is where I’m in an office and someone is talking to me about Agoraphobia and as soon as they say that I freak out and run out of the office. As I flea the office a mass of people start following me and are running and calling out. I remember running to a train station and that’s about it. I wonder what Sigmund Freud would have to say about this? Probably not a lot, as he is dead.
I awoke from these dreams believing it was sometime at night, but in reality it was around 4 in the afternoon. I’d put down my window blind before going to sleep. It’s strange i’ve forcefully stayed up for several days before and have felt exhausted. But this, I feel kind of groggy but other than that I’m ok.
Now I’m drinking Horlicks and listening to some weird YOU WILL SLEEP NOW mp3 I found on the internets, maybe it will help. I doubt it will but maybe I’m just rambling on. But you’d have to be a fool to think that.
Here’s a list of things I won’t get finished
- My Elvis plays Wii Sports Bowling and then starts a Wii Sports Bowling Acadmy Film Script
- My Film Script about a Hit-man using techniques found in some banned book I read about How to become a hit-man.
- The Game I started that has no name.
- The Dig 2.
Well there’s a possibility of completing the Elvis Script, it could only be a short film. Nothing feature length.
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